Lists
by lilyevanspottersnape
Summary: Sirius writes a list and realises he's in love with Remus  Sirius/Remus don't like, don't read


_**bold italic underlined words are meant to be scored out!**_

* * *

><p>Lists<p>

I loved writing lists. I wrote them when bored, confused, angry, all the time really. I wrote all my lists in a little red notebook Remus had gotten me for Christmas. The notebook was used with a passcode, similarly to the Marauders map.

I was bored so got my notebook, said the code and started writing.

Seven things Sirius Black wants most in the world

(In no particular order)

1. A motorbike

2. A way to get said motorbike to fly

3. To be completely different from my family

4. To pull the best prank EVER and be forever remembered for it.

5. My friends to be happy (cough cough James and Lily especially cough)

6. No evil in the world

7.

I suddenly realised Remus was reading over my shoulder and stopped my quill where it was poised over the seventh wish. The ink splodged on the page and I cursed. Remus quickly murmured a spell to remove the splodge. I turned and thanked him and watched as the bright twinkling eyes turn away from me and the shiny sandy blonde hair moved away across the common room. I sighed and turned back to his list. I wasn't sure what to put. Suddenly my subconscious decided and before I even realised, I had scrawled:

7. Remus J. Lupin

I nearly gasped out loud as the words appeared on the page but the more I thought about it the more they seemed true. Suddenly there was a cough behind me and I jumped before swivelling round to see James who was reading the list. As James spotted the seventh item he raised an eyebrow at me. "Don't say anything to him about it." I begged as I quickly murmured the incantation to hide the list.

"Don't say what to who?" asked Remus. I jumped nervously before giving James a warning look.

James sighed and replied "nothing. If you want to know, just ask Padfoot" he smirked. I had known there was no way James could keep completely silent but was glad he hadn't told him. Remus looked questioningly at me and I shook my head and clutched the notebook to my chest, my face becoming pinker than usual. Remus raised an eyebrow suspiciously and walked away. That was close I thought.

"YOU" I growled at James. "Why did you say that? He's going to think it's something about him since I didn't tell him"

"But it IS something about him" James hissed.

"So it IS about me?" asked Remus from the other side of the room. "I take it you forgot about my excellent hearing."

I groaned and shot daggers at James. "ONE WORD" I growled threateningly. James shrugged and quickly left the room.

* * *

><p>Eventually Remus left and went to the library. I sighed in relief and muttered the code word. I decided to change it since I was sure Remus knew the current one. I changed the first word to 'RJL' and the second to 'werewolf'. Remus would never guess those.<p>

I was surprised Remus hadn't already worked out what was happening. I thought he was supposed to be the smart one. One minute there was a list of the things I wanted most, with one thing left to be written and the next I was begging James not to tell him something and being very protective of the notebook. It didn't take a genius to work out.

I turned to a new page and started a new list.

Seven Reasons why Sirius Black likes Remus Lupin

1. His hair

2. His eyes

3. His smile

4. His sense of humour

5. He's intelligent and witty

6. He makes me laugh

7. He's the most kind and loving person I know.

James snorted with laughter behind him, causing me to jump, yet again. I slammed the book shut and whacked James round the head with it. "James…" I threatened.

"Don't worry, I won't say anything to him" he assured. "But all I'm saying is you're totally whipped and you're not even going out yet." He snorted with laughter.

I glared at him. "And what do you mean YET? It's not like I can. And I'm NOT whipped!"

James rolled his eyes. "Yeah whatever, you keep telling yourself that mate. And actually you could, there's nothing stopping you from trying."

I glared at him and stalked out the room. Upon leaving Gryffindor tower I found a window sill to sit on and re-opened my book.

Seven reasons Sirius Black can't like/go out with Remus Lupin

1. He's a guy

2. He's my best friend

3. He doesn't like guys (as far as I know)

4. I would get killed by my parents if I was gay/going out with a half-blood werewolf (not that I care if they care, I just don't wanna die.)

5. AND/OR I would be the laughing stock of the school if I was gay (again not that I care it'd just make life more difficult and him less likely to go out with me)

6. Peter's a homophobe and would freak out at us being in his dorm/anywhere near him/each other

7. I'm not good enough for him

At that I sighed, muttered "werewolf" shut the book and went back to the common room. I stalked upstairs, past James and chucked the notebook in my trunk before heading back downstairs to lounge by the fire.

"What lists have you been writing now?" whispered James "What you would do to him if you could?"

I groaned. "You are just sick Jamsie, SICK "

"What's sick?" asked Lily and Remus in unison.

"Nothing" I said quickly.

"I'm just making a joke at the expense of his love life" laughed James.

Lily gave me a sympathetic look

"Love life?" snorted Remus "You don't mean sex life?"

"Either way works I'm just referring to the recent lack-of and his desires" said James indifferently. "OW!" he yelled as I kicked him under the table.

"LOVE though? If you said sex yes I could believe, but love?"

At that point a set of song lyrics popped into my head and I felt the need to share them.

"_I'll give you all I got to give if you say you love me too __  
>I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you <em>_  
>I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love"<em>

Lily smiled sympathetically while Remus asked "The Beatles?"

I nodded. James was looking at me like I had two heads or had started spouting poetry. "What about beetles?" he asked.

"It's song lyrics. Doesn't matter though" Lily said.

"So who…" started Remus.

"Yes do tell us all who?" Interrupted James, he was smirking cockily at the thought of me admitting to Remus and Lily who the list was about.

I glared at him and stalked from the room.

"James you're really unfair to him" I heard Lily chastise as the portrait hole opened. I had to laugh at that.

* * *

><p>The next weekend was a Hogsmeade weekend and everyone seemed to have a date, except me of course. Lily had agreed to go with James, FINALLY! Peter was going with some Hufflepuff girl and Remus was going with a girl from Ravenclaw called Jessica. Since everyone seems to have dates I wasn't sure what to do. As it reached Saturday morning I found myself nicking James' invisibility cloak and following Remus and his date around. 'This is so sad' I thought.' I can't believe I'm practically stalking him.' I followed them into the Three Broomsticks, where Jessica went up to get drinks.<p>

"Padfoot?" asked Remus. "Why have you been following me around all day?"

I nearly asked how he knew that but decided it'd be better to stay quiet.

"I know you have" he continued, "It's pretty obvious if there's a wet dog smell following me around all day."

I growled at that. I did NOT smell like a wet dog! He laughed.

"So why have you been following me?" he repeated.

"I was lonely…" I whined, hopefully this wouldn't seem too unusual and he wouldn't realise the truth "Everyone's on dates except me"

Remus sighed "Look go wait in Zonkos, I'll meet you there in ten minutes."

I smiled. He was leaving his date for me! 'NO' I thought suddenly, 'It was because we were friends, nothing more. Think of the list, think of the list.' I sighed and went to look around Zonkos, pausing in an alleyway to pull off the cloak.

When Remus arrived in Zonkos the first thing he said was "Why didn't you just ask out whoever you like? It's not like they're gonna say no, you're Sirius Black!"

I laughed at the irony of getting told by Remus to ask him out, then shook his head, "already got a date" He mumbled.

"Well make sure you ask them first next time!" said Remus.

I sighed, if only it was that simple. We wandered around Hogsmeade before heading back to the Three Broomsticks for a Butterbeer. Oh how I wished this was a date. As we walked back to the castle, it took all I had, to remember it wasn't a date and stop myself from reaching out to hold his hand.

* * *

><p><strong>Later that day<strong>

"Remy? How do you tell if you're in love?"

"Why?" he asked, apparently curious about why Sirius Black was worrying about love.

"Just curious" I mumbled

As he told me I jotted them down in a list. I then re-read it and frowned, realising it seemed irrelevant so changed it so it was about me, changing the title and pro-nouns (god I sound like a geek talking about this pro-noun rubbish, that's what I get for spending too much time with Remus.)

**_Twenty-Seven ways to tell if you're in love by Sirius Black _**(this is scored out in case you forgot)

Twenty ways Sirius Black can tell he's in love with Remus Lupin

1.I really care about him

2. I can't stop thinking about him

3. I don't notice other people around me when I'm with him

4. I love spending time with him

5. I would do anything for him

6. I love everything about him

7. I can see a future with him in it

8. I find myself looking at him without realising

9. My heart speeds up when I see him

10. I get butterflies when I talk to him

11. I could talk to him all day

12. I love everything about him

13. Especially his 'flaws' (not that he has any)

14. He makes me feel good about myself

15. I get VERY jealous if he's with other people

16. He can make me blush, smile or laugh in seconds

17. I want to know everything about him

18. I understand him more than anyone else and vice versa

19. When we touch, I get a tingly feeling

20. I constantly talk about him

21. My heart skips a beat when I hear your name

22. I look around for him when he's not there

23. I wish time spent with him would never end

24. I want to spend all my time with him

25. It doesn't feel right when I'm not talking to him

26. I couldn't think of loving anyone else

27. I'm thinking about him right now

I frowned, he really seemed to know this feeling and there I went again, jealous. I re-read the list before deciding, "Yep I get every one of those things" Remus gave me a look of surprise and curiosity.

"Really?" he asked. I nodded and sighed. "Do I get to know who?" I shook my head, my face turned red and I fled the room.

Sitting on my four-poster I started yet another list, by the end of the week this notebook would be full, I thought.

Reasons Sirius Black loves Remus Lupin

_**1. It'd take too long to explain**_

_**1. All the reasons on the list of reasons why I like him**_

_**2. All the reasons on the list of ways I know I'm in love**_

1. He's Remus Lupin!

I sighed, that list CLEARLY worked, I wrote four things, three of which I scored out before deciding I loved him because he was him.

"Oh Merlin!" exclaimed James from behind me, he'd been reading my list AGAIN.

I jumped out my skin before turning around, pointing my wand at him and thinking 'Levicorpus'

James was swiftly grabbed by his ankle and flipped upside down, hanging in mid-air. His wand plummeted from his robe and hit the floor. I grabbed it and put it on his bedside table at the other side of the room. "Damn!" he groaned. Did he really think I'd be stupid enough to let him keep his wand so he could perform the counter curse?

"And if you think about telling Remus, expect something worse to happen" I threatened. "See you in a few hours" I smiled cheerfully.

I left the room, shutting the door behind me, before loudly casting a security spell, Colloportus, then the Impervius charm so that James could hear me saying the incantations. I laughed; I'd left James hanging upside down, prevented anyone from getting in, or him shouting for help. Now I just had to disappear for a few hours to teach him a lesson.

After a few hours I returned to the room to find Remus and Peter standing outside along with a few seventh years who were trying to open the door. I laughed "Coming through, coming through, amazing-at-revenge, magical-door-unlocker coming through" They stared at me. I flicked my wand three times, removing the spells and opened the door.

Remus and Peter gawked at James who was hanging by his ankle his face kinda red since he'd been upside down so long. "See what I meant by amazing-at-revenge?" I laughed while lazily flicking my wand and letting James crash to the floor.

"Bastard…" muttered James

"What was that about?" asked Remus.

I glared at James "I wouldn't stop reading his lists over his shoulder without him realising and laughing at what he was writing and making him jump about six foot in the air" he laughed.

"Would this have anything to do with him asking me how to tell if you're in love?" Remus asked.

"Yeah, something like that…." James mumbled. "Don't curse me I didn't say anything" he said, turning to me, putting his hands in the air.

"How does he know?" Remus demanded.

"The same reason he was left hanging by his ankle for three hours" I growled.

"Ok calm I wasn't going to ask him" Remus calmed

"I wasn't going to say anything" protested James

I glared at him once more and stalked out the room, hearing "God he's so touchy these days" from James. I growled, but ignored the comment.

* * *

><p>Later that day I was wandering around the castle looking for somewhere to think. I suddenly realised I could go to the Room of Requirement. Reaching the seventh floor I paced back and forth, three times thinking 'I need someplace to think' a door appeared and I pulled it open and went inside. Inside the room there was a comfy chair by a fireplace and a large mirror, as high as the ceiling, with an ornate gold frame, standing on two clawed feet. I frowned, I'd asked for somewhere to think, not a mirror. Around the frame of the mirror it said 'Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi.' What was that supposed to mean? I looked in the mirror. Instead of seeing myself looking back at me I saw myself sitting with my head leaning against Remus' shoulder, caught in a warm, close embrace. Remus loved me; I could see it in his eyes. I looked away and shook my head, that wasn't true. What was this mirror? Why was it showing me and Remus? I looked back at the carving in the frame before realising the first word said 'Desire' backwards. I looked at the whole carving '.' Quickly realising what it meant I looked back in the mirror. What I desired most was the love of Remus Lupin so that was what I saw.<p>

"Well this room's definitely helping me think" I said to myself. "Now the question is what to do about it?"

I looked back in the mirror, the scene was changing. We were taking our clothes off and kissing passionately. I moaned at the thought, I could almost feel his gentle touch, caressing me as he was in the mirror.

Unknown to me Remus had just walked through the door and heard my moan.

"Siri?" He asked. I jumped and tore my eyes from the mirror. "Are you ok?"

I nodded. "What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I came to find you; I wanted to make sure you were ok. James wants to apologise but was worried you might curse him so he told me to tell you instead, but I'm surprised you've not cursed me for sneaking up on you like that. What are you doing?"

I laughed internally at the thought of myself cursing him, 'not gonna happen' I thought. "I was looking for a place to think so I came here and found this mirror."

"So why were you moaning at the mirror? Do you really turn yourself on that much?" he joked.

I went red. "The mirror shows your heart's desire" I explained.

"Oh so you were seeing whoever you may or may not be in love with?" he asked. I nodded. "I assume you're not gonna tell me who?" I shook my head. "I wonder what I see"

"Go look then" I suggested. He walked up to the mirror and looked in. He gasped, his face turned very white and a pink blush rode up his cheek. I wondered what he saw, moving to stand behind him I looked over his shoulder. I saw exactly what I saw when I looked in it. 'Was this what he wanted or was the mirrors capable of showing two people their desires at the same time?'

He realised I was looking over his shoulder and turned even redder. "Can you see what I see?" he asked.

"No" I replied, not entirely sure but trying to convince myself. "We should get James and Peter up here too" I suggested. I wanted to test whether or not I was seeing his desire. Remus nodded.

I pulled my fragment of the enchanted mirror out of my pocket and looked into it. I saw darkness. It was obviously in his pocket. "James" I called. "James" Suddenly the mirror came out into the light and I saw James' face.

"What?"

"Come up to the Room of Requirement, you need to see this" I said. "And bring Peter"

He nodded and shoved the mirror back in his pocket.

After five minutes they arrived in the room. "What?" asked James. I pointed to the mirror and explained what it showed. James immediately ran to the mirror and looked in. His face spread in a grin. I could guess what he saw, Lily. I edged behind him and peered over his shoulder, trying not to make it obvious what I was doing. I couldn't see his desire, or mine's, just our reflection. I frowned. 'How did that work? How could I not see mines when I had seen mines when Remus was looking? Or if I had seen Remus' how could I not see James'?' I pondered for a minute. 'Maybe if you share someone's desire you can see it?' I hoped. I quickly shook my head; there was no chance of that. I turned and fled the room. I seemed to be doing that a lot these days, I didn't even get a look from any of them as I did so, they were obviously used to me leaving a room so abruptly by now.

* * *

><p>The next morning I woke up slightly earlier than usual, I lay in bed relaxing, when Remus woke up. I couldn't help but watch as he got dressed; I felt kinda perverted but couldn't help but stare. His black boxers, framing his skinny hips, the scars on his chest and back, his slender muscled limbs, I couldn't help but stare. Once he left I decided I needed to do something about this. I grabbed my notebook.<p>

Seven options of what I can do.

1. Tell him

2. Get someone else to tell him

3. Write him a letter

4. Leave my notebook 'accidently' open with the writing showing in the dorm room for him to find and hope he reads it

5. Stay in the room under the invisibility cloak and watch his reaction to number 4

6. Try to ignore it

7. Try think of more options

Re-reading the list I decided I should do number five, that meant I didn't have to see him face to face while he found out and I could watch his reaction. I knew Remus always came up to collect his books after lunch so I decided to do it then. I warned James what I was doing and told him and Peter to stay away from the room.

* * *

><p>At lunch I was getting really nervous, my hands were shaking and were slightly sweaty. I wolfed down my food as quickly as I could and ran up to the dorm room. I grabbed the notebook, opened it to the page of what I wanted most and muttered the code word "RJL" before grabbing the cloak and the marauders map. Throwing the cloak over me, I watched as Remus left the great hall and headed up to Gryffindor tower. I took a deep breath just before he entered the room and watched him search his trunk for his books. I couldn't help but stare at his gorgeous ass as he bent over, I shook my head, this wasn't the time to gawp at him. He got up to leave and the notebook caught his eye. I could see in his face the curiosity fighting the nobility and respect for my privacy. I could tell he wanted to look but didn't want to be cursed like James. Eventually he gave a sneaky look over his shoulder at the door and edged towards the notebook. He picked it up and read. I could practically see his eyes move. He was on the first line, the second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh. I watched as his eyes widened in surprise.<p>

"No" he said, shaking his head. "It can't be, he obviously DID see what I saw in the mirror and is doing this to wind me up."

I smiled; I must have seen what he saw if he's acting like this, he must actually like me!

He turned the page and he skimmed over the next list. He frowned at the end of it.

"No" he repeated, "It can't be true."

Looking at the title of the list on the next page he muttered to himself,

"This is becoming more and more believable."

He turned the page gasped at the next title, his eyes and mouth widened as he skimmed over the twenty-seven reasons. He looked at the next page and smiled at my failed attempts to explain to myself why.

"I'm really beginning to think this is true…" he said to himself. I couldn't believe he would be so disbelieving of me, thinking I would do this for a cruel joke after seeing his desire in the mirror.

He turned to the final page that had been written on and skimmed through the list. His eyes widened. I knew he had realised I was doing either option 4 or 5 so it was possible I was in the room.

"Siri?" he asked.

I pulled off the cloak and smiled at him. "Every list in there is real" I told him.

"Really?"

I nodded.

"Did you see what I saw in the mirror?"

I nodded and explained "When I looked over your shoulder I saw the same thing I had seen when I looked in. When I looked over James' shoulder I just saw our reflection. I think if you have the same desire as someone, the mirror shows you."

"You saw it too?" he asked.

I nodded.

"That was what you were moaning at?"

I blushed and nodded.

He smiled and pulled me into a hug.

I hugged back for a second before I pushed him away. He frowned at me, confused and opened his mouth to question why I had stopped him. Before he got the chance to speak though, my mouth was on his, kissing him passionately, my tongue exploring his mouth. Once he got over the surprise he kissed back, our tongues battling for dominance. He won. I nibbled his bottom lip and he moaned in pleasure. Eventually we broke apart, our breath heavy. "I've been waiting so long for that" I gasped.

I grabbed his hand and dragged him across the room. "We'd better find James; he'll be dying to know what happened." I said. I reached for the door handle and turned it, getting a surprise when the door flew open and James fell into the room. He'd been listening at the door. I sighed and rolled my eyes, typical James.

Pulling himself upright he flung his arms around both of us. "Congrats!" he almost yelled. "You're perfect for each other." We smiled at each other. I removed my hand from Remus' for a second to get James off from around our necks, before pulling on his hand and dragging him down to the common room. Almost the whole of Gryffindor house was there. The few people that were looking in our direction nudged their friends and pointed to our entwined hands.

Deciding to do this properly, I jumped onto the nearest table, knocking the third years' books flying. I then turned and pulled Remus up to join me.

"Attention people! I'd like to introduce you to my boyfriend, Remus Lupin!" people cheered and clapped.

Remus put his arms around my waist and pulled me into a possessive hug from behind. He then cleared his throat and said "Yes and sorry ladies but keep your hands off him!" I smiled at him and looked up over my shoulder. His lips met mines and we kissed. We continued kissing until James grabbed Remus and pulled us both off the table, causing us to all fall in a pile on the floor.

"What was that for?" I growled.

"You were making the first years nauseous" I glared at him. He laughed.

"I'm sorry Mr Head Boy SIR" I said sarcastically.

He hit me over the head with one of the books that I had knocked onto the floor next to him.

"Ow!"

"Oh by the way did I tell you me and Lily got together OFFICIALLY?" My eyes widened in surprise. "Oi! Stop looking so shocked!" he laughed.

Lily crossed the room and pulled James up, kissing him briefly as she did. "Maybe we could go on a double date sometime?" she suggested. I nodded and dis-entangled myself from Remus. Just as I stood up Remus grabbed me around the waist and pulled me back onto his lap. "Where do you think you're going?" he growled, before kissing me again.


End file.
